News broke yesterday that Charlie Fisher has left his post as quarterbacks coach at Penn State. “It was career suicide,” he stated. “Seriously, you have one guy who could not hit water if he jumped off a boat, another guy who can’t read books – yet alone defenses – and the last guy audibles every play to be a fade pass to Moo Moo. Now how in the Hell am I supposed to work with that?”
Former and current quarterbacks
With the team being in the middle of spring practices, head coach Bill O’Brien felt like he needed to fill the void on the staff quickly, but did admit that, “Yeah, the current situation sucks. I am not sure who would want to walk into this mess.”
O’Brien said that he contacted multiple candidates, including George Godsey from the New England Patriots, former Maryland head coach Ralph Friedgen, and Danny O’Shea, the former head coach of the Little Giants. However, all declined instantly.
“I started to get worried that I would not be able to find anybody who would willingly be associated these three idiots we call our quarterbacks,” O’Brien said. “So it is with much remorse that I re-introduce Jay Paterno as the Penn State quarterbacks coach. Hopefully two negatives can make a positive though, right?”
Jay Paterno had been the subject of criticism after highly recruited quarterbacks such as Pat Devlin and QB14 never panned out. Penn State will not have a press release regarding the hire, referring to the embarrassment and humiliation it may cause them.